Hi, my name is Emma and I don’t like small talk.

I popped my cherry for the Sisterhood last night.

Get your mind out of the gutters sisters from other misters,  I popped my biz networking cherry to be exact. Part of starting your own business is about networking, meeting new people, influencing others on your business and trying to figure out how to make sense of this crazy thing called entrepreneurship.  I was bricking myself. I even shot to the toilet as I arrived to calm my nerves. I gave myself a stern talking too and got my big girl panties on and headed out into the unknown and into a sea of chattering networking women biz owners.

For those that know me, I don’t have a problem with talking to people.  I was known as gabby-jaws by my pseudo godfather (my real godfather was an absentee reverend who fell off the wagon) but I digress. In fact I freaking love talking to people.  I love people, I love what they have to say, I try to be curious about them and I generally walk into parties feeling very confident in myself, knowing I won’t have a problem finding someone to talk to.  This is because a party is likely to be for someone I know, a friend.  I have connections with those friends, they know me, know I am no wallflower, know I love a wine or three like to spin a good yarn. We cut through the small talk years ago, we just shoot the shit, straight from the start of the night.

But networking, that’s different, that’s hard that requires small talk and me explaining what I do.  That makes my tummy do flip-flops and my teeth freeze in my mouth, with a demented smile plastered to my face.

Even though I’ve worked for years where networking was an important part of what we do, this was different, I was flying solo.  You see what I did there, I said “we”. Because 100% of the time that I have ever networked, it’s been about what we do, about a business I work for, a project I am working on.  This time was hugely different, it was about Sisterhood of Style and no one else can talk about it like I can – and that’s so scary I felt a little bit sicky uppy.

But you know what sisters, as soon as I grabbed my drink (non-alcoholic) a gorgeous sister come straight up to me and introduce herself – thank you Fiona Hall.  She had recognised me from Facebook and Instagram and immediately put me at ease.  Then I felt my nerves slide slowly away and anyone I mentioned my nerves too, they all nodded in agreement with me, imparting their own cherry popping moment for networking or how they like to handle it.  One very sisterhood-loving difference about a women’s networking event – you hug hello – heart to heart.  That’s fucking cool. You don’t get that at a male dominated network night.

So I thought some of you sisters may be feeling the same way about networking and I could help with some tips I learnt tonight. I’ve also included some gems that I learnt from the speakers, who were kick-arse awesome and who each spoke on purpose and perseverance, timely given I was struggling to persevere with networking.

This story has a good ending, a great ending.  I sucked up my scardy-cat and gave myself a good talking too.  I mixed and mingled and started to hand out my newly minted business cards.  Women asked me what I did, we hugged, we were introduced to new people, we laughed, we agreed to meet up and possibly even collaborate (that got my creative juices flowing) and I left at 11pm freaking happy, so buzzed I couldn’t sleep, so I sat up and wrote this.  I hope your next networking is as successful, try my tips & tricks below to help you. If you’ve got any advice on networking, the sisterhood would love to hear it, please share.

SISTERHOOD OF STYLE NETWORKING CHERRY POPPING TIPS

Tip 1: Don’t drink.  Despite loving seeing a glass of wine waiting for me at an event, I appreciated that I didn’t drink. A large group of women in a room have a an incredible energy (and noise) and don’t need alcohol (sometimes we do) to fuel it.  Without the booze (it was a dry event) I had no dutch courage, I just had me and that ended up being ok.

Tip 2: Force yourself, whatever you do, to introduce yourself to someone you don’t know.   I was a bit giddy to meet a lot of women I’ve only known via social media and coaching groups I am in.  So to meet them in person, to realise that some of them knew of Sisterhood of Style, was incredible and mind-blowing and just bloody awesome.  But I wouldn’t have found that out, unless I had forced myself to be brave in the first place and buy a ticket to the event and then say hello to strangers.

Tip 3: I can’t let a tip and trick slip by without sharing my style advice.  Wear something that makes you feel fantastic.  Don’t wear anything that you need to pull, push or alter during the evening.  Wear colour.  Stand out if you can.  Women appreciate good style, they know when they see it.  You are in a room of like-minded business women, all putting their best selves forward, you should too.  Wear something that someone will comment on – its a great icebreaker.  I fell in love with a million pairs of shoes at the event and spoke to the women wearing them, telling them so.

Snippets of kick-arse awesome advice from the speakers:

JFDI – Just fucking do it – Belinda Tuki from Honest Food Company

Shed your shit and shine – Dr Martha Nessler

Life is about stepping stones and stopping points – Dr Martha Nessler

Set a bold money goal – Catherine Newton 

You can’t unlearn that – Amanda Betts from Bridge the Gap 

I don’t want to be famous, I want to change the world  – Natalie Cutler Welsh from Go to Girl NZ and the event host

Mmmmmmwah,

EJ  xx  The mother of the Sisterhood.

 

This is the outfit I wore to the event.  

 

The Bomber bummer: my appointment with disappointment.

The trials and tribulations of denying yourself the jacket you most want. Why? Because I was I was starting to resemble a potato in a really great jacket…for the full story, read on.

You there in the sad face, with your period pants on, let’s live it up. Or not. Shut up.

Warning, this is a blog about periods.  You shouldn’t read it if you have an issue with periods or talking about them or honesty.  Ok. I’m going in.

Have you got your period today sisters?  Let’s have a chat about what you’re going to wear then…Woah woah woah, don’t you be running at me with scissors, just back the truck up there, nice and easy my lovelies.  Sooooooothing music, babbling brook, sleeping babies, you better now?

Let me explain myself.  I am here in solidarity. I am, but I think I have devised a way to be smart and get through in relative style, those two to nine days it takes for the outpouring of our lady hormones to be gone.  Did I say nine?  Ring a bell to anyone of you?  Can we start a club?  The nine day leeching club?  The on the rag, ain’t getting no bone club?   The I think I may have started the steady decline into menopause club?  Just so you know, it’s called perimenopause and I think I caught it already. I promise to be very vocal on this matter as I walk that path.  I’ll take you on the journey with me – just like my midwife liked to tell me pregnancy was a journey and I needed to get on that train.  Anyhoo, I digress.

So, you have your period.  Still.  Good. Or not, not going to lie.  It’s a shocker (read shitter).  A total and utter shocker (read shitter) AND it can ruin really great underwear.  Yes I went there.  Too soon?  Well sorry.  What was I saying, I have my period you know, it’s symptoms are as bad as pregnancy forgetfulness.

Right, back on track, here I am, hope I didn’t lose you.  I AM NOT HERE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO WEAR when you have your period, wouldn’t dream of it.  What I’d like to do though, is make a few gentle suggestions on how to dress to make it easy on yourself.  This is top expert opinion, as studied by me.  Thanks.  Ok, here goes, I’m going in, again.

Black Ops – Today is the day to wear black – I’m not usually the biggest advocate of an all black outfit, unless New Zealand’s  Rugby team is playing. I do love how injecting colour can raise an outfit from ok to spesh. But right now sister, as I sit in my black pleather jeggings and a black merino waterfall cardigan, I feel just fine.  Aside from the period pain and pimples.  My only other suggestion is maybe you could wear navy at a push.

Next, put some lippy on.  Just do it.  It’ll give your pale arse complexion some colour, just do it.

Yoga pants?  sure, wear them. I’ll let that slide this once. Having said that, if you’re going out in the world or to work, then try lifting the game above yoga pant level and wear a pair of pull on trousers with a waist so high it will disguise the belly that this torrent of blood has gifted you. A donut may have also been involved, but I won’t tell.

Wear flats or a slightly raised boot, don’t whatever you do, wear a heel with your period. It will end you.

Makeup.  Wear some.  Mascara, lippy, coverage.  Lip gloss.  You’re good.

Hair, shove it in a bun or pony. Call it bohemian chic and you’re good.  Wear sunglasses.

Food, your gonna want to eat a lot of carbs.  I suggest a pita garlic bread – not ridiculously bad for you and you could have it with meatballs and call it a complete Italian meal, add a little twist on country of origin with a Greek Salad on the side, which technically isn’t a salad cause you could just pile on the feta. I’m veering way off-course here and delving into food blogging – not what you signed up for.

There endeth the lesson Sisterhood.

Right, I’m off to eat some food and grab a wheatbag.  Thanks for letting me turn periods into a style blog. You’re ace. You are.

Mmmmmwah

EJ xx

Embracing the sisterhood, periods & all.

PS – what do you call your period?  Asking for a friend.

 

 

Dress up for date night – for yourself

Date night.  It’s an American concept that has filtered through marriages & love matches around the world.  I was a long time listener but first time caller once I became a parent.  But date night doesn’t apply to just parents, no way sister.  The concept is for couples to take the time out and celebrate being a couple.

Huffington post tells us that date night is important because it allows time for romance, fun and commitment (which is kinda important in a love match isn’t it).

Auckland’s Heart of the City want us to have date nights, so we can check out their awesome love bite suggestions 

But for me, Date Night allowed/s me the chance to get out of the house, without cereal and a small human attached to me.  It was also a chance to shine in an outfit.

Since then, I’ve realised I am worth more than just waiting for date night so that I can shine everyday, in all my outfits, but back then, not so much, it was baby-steps.  So my point is, yes date night is important for you as a couple, but it’s equally as important for you, simply you, gorgeous, wonderful, amazing you.  Dress for him, or her, but dress, most importantly for yourself.

The power of a great outfit will anchor you.  You may be feeling less than your best but an outfit can help transform you into the most awesome version of you.  It will coax your inner awesome out and give you the boost you need to get yourself out of the house, especially if you are a new mum or coming back to yourself from a low point.

So get amongst it sisters, celebrate yourself and your beau and dress up or dress down, but make the outfit count.

Want some inspo for date night outfits?  Here’s a couple I prepared earlier…just add some accessories and lippy and you got yourself a date.

Movies and a Burger

Walk in the Park (technically date day)

Glam drinks

Stay at home date 

And remember, coming home from your date night by half past eight is perfectly acceptable – just continue the date in your slippers and PJ’s!  🙂

Date night before 6pm and after 8.30pm….

Date night 6pm

Date night 9pm

 

I’ll leave you with this…..Coco Chanel has a quote attributed to her that sums it up beautifully. “Beauty begins, the moment you decide to be yourself”.

mmmmmwah,

love EJ 

Sisterhood of style x

Cheers to the freaking weekend…

Sisters, it’s Friday – TGIF and all that jazz.  In fact, let’s do a little tippy tappy jazz hands dance. What are you wearing this weekend?  Are you hiding behind active wear?  Do you want a bit of inspo?

I’ve done some trawling for you and have found a few spot on pieces that will make your weekend wardrobe look as good as you feel on the inside.

Winter weekends for me are spent on the side of a pitch, shopping with clients, working around the house, making mischief with friends and hanging with my small humans.  I need what I wear to be versatile but cute, damn cute.  I don’t want to be beige.

Weekends like mine are common, hugely diverse and in need of an injection of awesome wear, that can be relaxed, versatile, dressed up or down and make you feel fabulous.  You deserve to shine.  So Sisterhood of Style has come up with a few top tips for weekend dressing with style.

TOP TIPS 

Think of leopard print as a neutral – wear it as an accent if you aren’t sure on the whole “neutral” option yet.  Wear leopard or animal print on your feet or as a coat (check out this puppy) and it will spice up any outfit.

Add stripes – they make a dull outfit awesome and look great with everything – and I mean everything.  Check out this option for a complete weekend look.  

Winter is the time to put layer upon layer upon layer.  The more the merrier and a great way to mix and match styles and prints.  Try layering up a dress with a fabulous faux fur gilet or a floaty dress with merino layers  and a heavy jacket over the top.  Another great look of the moment is to pair a shoe string strap dress with a tee underneath and you could overlay with a denim jacket.

Long line cardigans are a great asset – over jeans and trainers, like this look.

Get a cute hat or beanie to complete your look, give your outfit a lift and keep you warm.

Wear a lipstick.  Seriously, I can’t give lipstick more cred, it makes your eyes pop, it helps brighten your face and it will complete even the most ordinary of outfits. Check out what Stylist Magazine had to say about red lipstick.

Have you got a terrific weekend outfit that you can share with the sisterhood? We’d love to see it.  Tell me what you are going to be rocking this weekend.

Have fun out there sisters.

Mmmmmmwah,

EJ xxxxx

Mother of the Sisterhood of Style