How to feel like Beyonce, every goddamn day

Hands up who wants to feel like Beyoncé, every goddamn day.  (imagine the hands up emoji here). I know I do.  So I will. I decided I would.  No one else, just me.  She’s fierce, fabulous and rocks her own style like no other.  You see, there’s no better magic than the magic in you sisters ,and I reckon you have it in you to bring it out and hear it roar.

My musings today started off being about accessorising, but when I thought more on this and started writing, I realised I just want you to feel less overwhelmed at the thought of “being stylish”.  I overheard another sister talking to a friend the other day saying that it was easier to wear stretchy pants and a sweatshirt, then it was to put on a great outfit.  I had to hold my tongue at that, but what I should have said is that it’s no harder putting on an outfit with some style involved, for instance, a skirt, a good fitting T-shirt and a necklace or scarf with a pair of white trainers (they don’t have to be high-end) that it is to put on a pair of black stretchy trackies or yoga pants, a top and a zip hoody.  Is it?

Well, if you still think that’s a tough one, here’s  3 easy steps to try and shake you out of your yoga pant groove and into a “Beyoncé state of mind”.  These can all be achieved without spending a single cent.

Add an accessory – try adding a colourful scarf, or a chunky necklace.  You could add some colourful earrings or a snazzy belt.  Own that snaz.  This is a quick way to jazz (and snaz) up an outfit with relatively little effort.  Now I challenge you to go into your deepest darkest parts of your drawers and wardrobes and dig out that accessory that you’ve stuck at the bottom of the pile.  Now put it on and own that sucker!

Wear your hair differently – try it and you will notice a difference.  Admittedly, this may be easier for those sisters with long hair, but you can always give it a go, even with a short style.  You could add a temporary colour if you have shorter hair, or try brushing your hair with a different parting, flipping it from the root to the other side, to add volume, like Riawna Capri does.  If you have long hair, try a fringe (I got one last week and it’s a keeper) or for something less permanent, you could a fierce do (Beyoncé styles) or a top-knot.  The trick with the top-knot is to not try too hard, make it effortless by pulling and brushing all your hair up onto the crown of your head, wrap and bend into a band and fasten with bobby pins.  Trying new options for your hair is often the number one way to rock your style, without spending a lot.

Challenge yourself – next time you reach for your stretchy black yoga pants and sweatshirts, take one of them off and add something with a bit more style (and it will look like you made just that little bit of extra effort).  If it’s the pants you take off, add jeans or a skirt, style it for relaxed look with trainers and the sweatshirt, do your hair and add a bit of lip gloss.  Just bring yourself up, one notch on the style ladder and by simply giving yourself the time and owning your own confidence, you will start to feel that little bit “more” for yourself.

Before you go, I wanted to share this.  I  know that you are likely feeling the pressure from society, from social media, friend and family  to “like” certain looks, but don’t forget to listen to your own inner voice telling you, knowing you and trusting you to like what you like. Your style journey is unique to you, whether it be wanting to gain more confidence in style after losing weight/having a baby, losing your boobs to a mastectomy or breastfeeding, or having lost yourself through a huge career or raising young children.  But I know you want to feel confident, so badly. And you want to find your style in order to help yourself shine.  You want to feel fantastic, mysterious, fun, causal at the right time and smoking hot the next. You don’t want to feel confused or embarrassed by your wardrobe.  So sisters, be like Beyoncé, every single day, feel like a a queen. Allow yourself the pleasure of feeling great about yourself everyday. If you need some extra encouragement, repeat after me WWBD?  (What would Beyoncé do?).

Mmmmwah, love EJ, the Queen of the Sisterhood of Style

Come hang out with me on Instagram @sisterhoodofstylenz

xo

 

 

 

A stylish exit.

Leaving your place of work is a little like entering into life through the birth canal.  It’s often a long, lonely walk, down a corridor of memories and then swooosh, you’re outta there.  All too soon you’re “EJ Who” or “the girl that was here before you, she did that”. I can count on one hand the amount of places I have left, loved and will miss.

My first job in television was a five year love affair of mutual admiration and the first time I experienced separation anxiety about leaving.  But I left there in a hurry to have an emergency c-section with my first born and never got the goodbye cake fest and piss-take of the pregnant women party.   My current job (Sisterhood of Style is my part time passion business) is a little like the TV job.  I love the people but it was time to spread my wings and do a little flying into the unknown. It wasn’t to have a baby though, so I did the hand in the notice thing and waited out the notice period, trying to be helpful and productive, but feeling a bit like a spare prick at a wedding.  So it got me thinking, how do you exit well?

Here’s my top four on the sliding scale of stylishly exiting the building.

For a start, buy donuts, they were a treat and a dozen Dunkin Donuts looks pretty spesh. Share them with your team and make them smile.

Don’t  gloat about the new role.  Only talk about it if asked, speak highly of it when asked and then move on.  To be fair, it’s only on the penultimate day that my grin was hard to hide.  It’s not that I am grinning because I’m happy to be leaving, but I am tremendously happy about where I am going, so that feeling is kinda infectious in the face department.

Start wearing all the clothes you haven’t been able too. I work in a corporate environment, so while this outfit will work just fine in the new roll, I wore a denim top today with wildly yellow trousers.  It was a little risque today and that felt a smidge naughty but incredibly freeing.

Lastly, which I guess is technically fourthly, leave (them) wanting more (of you). Don’t be too quick to skip outta there.  Go gently into the night.

I go into my last day with a sense of completion and finality.  I have my outfit planned, my lipstick primed (my kid is not gonna want to kiss me goodbye today) and a long winded speech prepared about some to the highlights and lowlights that turned into highlights or funny moments.

Goodbye old friend, you are missed already.

Have you got any stories from leaving work?

Mmmmwah, EJ, the mother of the sisterhood.

 

 

 

Allow me to introduce myself.

Hello!  Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to find out more about who I am and what Sisterhood of Style is all about.

I’m a personal stylist. I work with women who are struggling to find their personal style and confidence to own any style. They may not know how to shop well or smartly, and don’t know what to choose that suits them.

They may need help decluttering their wardrobes of ill-fitting clothes or styles that don’t suit them. My clients are often stuck in a rut of sameness and I help them to break free. I help them discover their style parameters and give them the honest truth about what will suit them and what won’t.

I guide them to not be a slave to fashion and give them the belief that style is for everyone, not the few. I do this so that their confidence can soar, by putting together outfits that sing to them, that they feel fantastic in and can easily create looks when I’m not with them.

I’m here to create confidence in women through style.

Email me at emma@sisterhoodofstyle.com if you’d like to know more.

 

 

What NOT to wear to a beauty pageant.

And the winner is….the crown, it was always about the crown. Ohhh and the sash, the sash was lovely and when I received one on my hen do, it made me feel all tingly inside, even though it said Bride to Be and not WINNER, MISS WORLD.

I always loved watching beauty pageants as a little girl.  And now, well now, I get to attend one, like my seven-year old says “in really true life”, see it live, maybe even trip backstage, and maybe, just maybe, touch that crown (is there a crown?) and covet that sash.  Miss Auckland, here I come.

As a wee girl I LOVED watching Lorraine Downes win Miss Universe back in 1983. She was the golden New Zealand Princess and I wanted to be her. It was one of the most exciting things I had ever seen, aside from when Princess Di married Prince Charles. The dresses, the posing, the outfits, the sparkly things and that farking crown; it was enormous and awesome and I wanted one. From there I watched every Miss Universe and Miss World (to be fair I didn’t know there was a difference at that time) that I could get my hands on and then moved onto the Benson & Hedges (icky cigarette sponsorship aside) Fashion Design Awards in the late 80’s. So you get the picture, I liked pageants  things a lot.  And to be honest, the love has never really died.

Then one of my many step-brothers just goes and gets his own “really true life” beauty queen and kick arse producer of awesome and she is pageant Director of Miss Auckland. The really cool thing about Miss Auckland is that the pageant motto is “beauty with purpose”, gotta love that.

So this weekend, we are going along as a family to hoot, holler and show our support.  I, of course, will be eyes on stalks and trying to get my hands on the crown (just for research purposes of course).

Cut to what to wear. I am in a total quandary as to what to wear. This Queen is confused. I’m not usually confused for sartorial options, but this is hard. There are so many faux pas to potentially make, so many ways I could cock this up. So, instead of compiling a list of what to wear, I’ve compiled a list of what not to wear.

1. SWIMSUIT This was easy, I mean, no, just no.

2. SEQUINS In my head, even if they don’t wear them, I imagine the night to be awash in sequins.  Do I dare try and compete?  I have a cool paid of Sass and Bide sequinned trousers, but I suspect I should be leaving them well alone.

3. ALL BLACK This look is probably best left for fashion week, rather than Miss Auckland

4. TWIN SET AND PEARLS I’m not a Dance Mom, so let’s not go there, even though I’m probably old enough to be one of the finalists big sisters; well alright, young aunt.  No?  OK, stop, (whisper) mother. So the Twin Set and pearls can shove it.

5. ACTIVE WEAR that would just be silly or psychotic.

6. A CROWN I so want to, but no, no, no.

So what will I wear to the ball?  Well I will either spend the next 24 hours obsessing over this or, choose in haste after a day in the garden with my boys, run inside, put my hair in a do and pull it together.  I suspect leopard print and a kaftan will be involved.  Watch this space sisters.

So in the meantime, I’ll leave you with this to ponder; the question asked of Gloria Diaz of Philippines in 1969 Miss Universe “in the next day or so, a man will land on the moon.  If a man from the moon landed in your hometown, what would you do to entertain him?”

See you later you gorgeous beautiful queens.

mmmmmwah, love  EJ, the mother of the sisterhood. xxxx

Welcome back, I’ve been expecting you

Hi there harem pants, cork wedges, gypsy-boho chic, off the shoulder, tied at the waist, embellished jackets, shoulder pads, how the hell are you? So you decided to visit us again, did you miss us, or did twenty years go by and you thought to give us another whirl?  Try another generation on for size.

I get that, it landed well last time, but you suspect this generation may just be the one to “get you” and you wanna go steady.  That’s cool, you’re just displaying the repetition theory in fashion.

So I guess nothing is new and new is old and old is recycled and everything has been seen before.  But now, right now, as you wear the off the shoulder top and the cork wedge, it’s new for you and it resonates in this moment in time and you love what you have on.  But then, so may have your mum back in the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s.

The theory goes and to be honest, isn’t rocket science,  that there is a recycling theory in fashion every 20 years or so and styles “re-emerge”, reimagined.  If you look at what’s hot for spring / summer 2016 – off the shoulder (hot in the 80’s), the ruffles (Victorian era anyone?), the gorgeous suede skirts (hey Hippie 70’s) and the flat mule (hello 1990’s), they all tip their hats to another era, in some way.  I love that some of the 80’s synching in at the waist (suits me hiding my mum-tum) and the glitz and gold of that era is filtering into some of the styling I love in 2016.

This Spring/Summer, keep a look out for paper-bag waists (it looks like a paper bag, at your waist, just before you blow into it cause you’re hyperventilating), netting, wearing gauzy lingere over your clothes (I am chuffed to say I did this in the 90’s on my OE and my dad though I was wearing a nightie – result!)

And remember, if the style you loved in the 90’s is making a comeback and you loved it then, then try it again, it can’t hurt you. No one said it better than the glorious Iris Apfel “if you make a mistake in what you put together, the fashion police are not going to haul you into jail”

What style do you love that’s been here before?

Mmmmmwah,

EJ, the mother of the Sisterhood of Style x

White T-Shirt Tales.

Despite knowing better sisters, I have a deep love of white T-Shirts.  In my head, I look like a movie star, all oiled on the decollatage, perfect pointy breasts sitting nicely but not obviously in my tee, as I drape languidly in a chair sipping a wine on a balcony looking over Capri.  My long tousled hair gently falling over my shoulders and softly landing at the middle of my back.  We are eating a beautiful red tomato based meal as I  wear this white T-shirt and none of it slips, trips or falls onto it.  There are no stains or dirty hands, snot or otherwise near this beautiful crisp white tee.  None whatsoever.

Cut to reality.

White T’s and me have a love-hate relationship.  I love them, they hate me.  Well that’s not entirely true, but they don’t freaking love me all out like a teenage love, they just somewhat tolerate me and my boobs and hips and mummy-tummy, my kids snot, underarm “persperation”, makeup and pasta meals.

So why do I love them so much?  They are so simple to style well.  Dress them up with a blazer and necklace with jeans and call yourself done.  You can tie it at the waist, pop on a maxi skirt and look freaking gypsy chic sorted.  Wearing it with shorts, jeans, skirts, trousers, jackets, denim is all possible and I could go on, but I won’t ’cause white T-Shirts work with everything. End of story.

But there’s a hidden dark secret – finding  the right one can be hard.  Just like that elusive pair of great fitting jeans, white T-shirts can sometimes be an epic fail.  Especially if you have boobs, hips and a bit of under bra back bulge that white tee can be a little bit unforgiving.

So I’m on a mission my sisters, to find a great white T-shirt that can marry my boobs, my hips and my mummy tummy and tolerate my kids hands, snot and my deep love of pesto pasta.  I’m going to track it down before summer hits and I will let you in on the find.

In the meantime, here’s some that you could try for yourselves, because I absolutely believe a white T-Shirt should be in your wardrobe, ready at a moments notice to make you look effortlessly styled.

Kowtow clothing  recommended to me by an ace style maven,this tee has length in the arms, which I like – a lot. It’s choppy at $89 but could be a solid find.

ASColour is a favourite of mine, cause you can dress the whole family in T-shirts and sweartshirts with their special of 5 garments for $110.  Their fit is probably the most forgiving and I have high hopes of finding my summer tee here.  My only gripe is that the lower cut versions can be a bit gappy on the boob, but great fitting everywhere else.

Bassike I don’t own one, but I might, because I have heard on good authority they keep their shape and their cotton is durable and soft.

Then there are these options I recently found at  Decjuba .  I tried on all of their White tee offerings and it was an experience of great highs (I loved the look of all of them) and a brief low when I realised my assets got in the way.  🙂

So sisters, I haven’t found her yet, but I will persevere.  I will leave no white T-shirt unfolded.  I will prevail.

I’m a woman on a mission.  If you have found the perfect white tee, share it with the group.

Mmmmwah, love, the mother of the sisterhood of style.

EJ x