Why you should agender-ise your sisterhood catch ups

I’m here to share with you why you should agender-ise your squad catch ups.  It’s a thing.  Well it wasn’t a thing, but now it is.

Sisters, time with your sisterhood, your besties, your squad is precious and often too short.  These precious moments are often so full of excitement at catching up, workshopping important and less important information and bantering back and forth, that you can leave feeling there was so much more to say.  Well I have a plan to help you on that.

Now, “just back the truck up” I hear you say, you want me to what?  Yes, I said it, I want you to put an agenda on the table and work through it systematically or erratically, whatever rocks your boat when you next meet up with your sisterhood/squad/friends/besties.  You’ll leave with a sense of calm that everyone has put their cards on the table and got their turn to offload/share/bitch/moan/vent/celebrate.

I’m finding the older I get (I still feel 27, but have a few more wrinkles, rolls and kids than I did back then), that time with my friends is sacred and I want to wring the most out of the time I have with them as possible.  There is so much that can’t be said via text and short phone calls, so I tend to “save” stuff up, but by the time we catch up, the moment’s been and gone, I’ve workshopped the issue myself or I’ve just plain forgotten.

And then in the space of one week, I was lucky enough to have two girly catch ups booked in and would you believe, both sets of friends put an agenda on the table.  At my heart, I’m an organiser, I do it for a living wrangling clients in my day job and make shit happen in my #mumboss biz, so you can imagine I was giddy with delight that agendas had been set.  Both were different versions but both have their merits, so it got me thinking that this blog is all about the sisterhood and I should share some life-hacks that I love with you.  So here’s how they went:

1. Agenda One: “Bring your top 3 to discuss, everything else is a free for all”.  This agenda had a fluidness to it, a liberal dose of letting the cards fall where they lay but it set an expectation that you’d get your turn, you have important things to discuss and it will happen, but shit might change and that’s cool.
2. Agenda Two: Rough agenda for Thursday: School fair,  renovation bitch and moan, husbands, kids, body yarns – what the fuck is happening to us?, building each other up – we are amazing after all and AOB (any other business).

To be fair, Agenda number two lingered on AOB for most of the night as there were some big fat rocks in there to jump over, but we got through the rest in a flash, because we remembered to keep referring back to the agenda.  Everyone left feeling lighter than when they walked in, having had the chance to offload.

Now before you get your knickers in a twist with me, thinking I am being some sort of lifestyle expert, I promise, I’m not, I just want to help the sisterhood out with a way to make life simpler, easier, more fun and calming.  Who doesn’t need that?

What do you think?  Let me know if you use the idea at your next sisterhood catchup.  It’s one big karmic cathartic love bomb of an idea.  Well I think so anyway 🙂  Happy life-hack.

Mmmmmwah, EJ, the mother of the sisterhood.  x0x0

 

What she said. A client tells all…

Sisters, if you ever wanted to know what a shopping session with me was like, look no further.  My gorgeous client has written me the most incredible testimonial.  I reckon it’s that spot on, that full of emotion, that honest account of a shopping sesh with me and the precise embodiment of why I set up Sisterhood of Style, that I felt it was worthy of a blog post.

From Katie, Mother of 2, 40 years gorgeous:

I’ve been trying to come up with the best way to communicate my thoughts about how our shopping session went. I think the best thing to do is to write a blog post – but I don’t have a blog to post it to! But you do…

Sooooo, I just turned 40. And if that wasn’t enough to deal with, I have 2 young kids (aged 1 and 3). I work 4 days a week in a corporate job. I’m no longer a toned size 10 (understatement of the century). I haven’t bought clothes for myself for years – unless they are either pregnancy oriented or ill-fitting snap purchases from cheap online websites so I can kid myself that it doesn’t matter if they don’t fit. I don’t really know my size any more. I’m still wearing maternity bras even though I stopped breast feeding 6 months ago (we moved house – actually country – and I still haven’t unpacked everything properly). They are way to big and baggy on me – just one of many indicators of how little attention I’ve given my appearance recently. I haven’t lived in NZ for 13 years so I am out of touch with NZ fashion and high street shops. I have lost all interest in fashion because nothing ever fits me (5 years ago I was self proclaimed (!) reigning Queen of London high street shops). Somehow, I’ve managed to lose all confidence in my own ability to look and feel stylish. And, I don’t have the time (or confidence) to tackle the shops on my own, only to walk away with expensive clothes that don’t really fit me.

So, for my 40th birthday, I decided I needed some help to get me feeling good about clothes and my appearance again. This Mother of Style, was EXACTLY what I needed. In our 2 hours together we managed not only to find me quite a few great outfits that I feel good in, but a little bit of confidence in my body, and in my ability to shop was restored.

Thanks EJ for taking the time to think about my wants and needs and for getting to the bottom of what was holding me back. Thanks for running round after me while I tried on clothes that were the wrong size or not quite right for what ever reason. Thanks for your patience and understanding and helping me to understand why I was unsure about something. Rather than me losing confidence in my ability to shop, you re-affirmed my gut feel about an item, by articulating uncertainty I was feeling, embracing it when warranted or gently challenging me to be bold. Thanks for the compliments when we found something that looked and felt great.

Thanks for keeping me in budget! In our 2 hour session, even though I came away with quite a few bags of clothes I love, funnily enough, I left a bit of baggage behind! And, the maternity bras are gone… for good! Its onwards and upwards from here. 

xxx

Thank you so much Katies for sharing your story, it made my heart sing and I felt so happy for you that you found yourself a little bit through our session.  Love your work. Mmmmwah, EJ, the Mother of the Sisterhood xo

If you’d like to get in touch to book your own shopping session, drop me an email emma@sisterhoodofstyle.com or dm me on social media @sisterhoodofstylenz

What to wear on your first day of work

I’m starting a new job on Monday.  I’ll be the new kid on the block, at 42, that’s no mean feat.  I’ll be making friendly chit-chat and skulk out on my own at lunchtime.  I’ll have to ask where the loo is, how to make the coffee, what the kitchen etiquette is and how soon can I bring in my dog.  Yes sisters, you heard it here first, it’s a dog friendly workplace. Winning.

But I know that all of that will be a whisper in the wind by the end of the week, once I’ve worked with these awesome new people for a few days and I get the hang of the place.

What I am becoming super preoccupied with though, is what the hell do I wear?  It’s not a corporate, but I’ll be working with corporate clients, it’s not a big company, but I’ll be working with big companies.  It’s not shorts and jandles and it’s not suit and tie.  It’s the…..dum duh num dum……the inbetween.  Aggggggh (think 1950’s screen siren scream here).

Is anyone else like me and on their first day of school, a new job or a wedding and you absolutely have to purchase a new outfit?  Or is that just me?  Well, it is me, I have to own that.

So, I have a pair of Zara nautical styled (more on that style theme in another blog post soon) trousers I purchased in Sydney recently, that I haven’t worn.  I am having them taken up right now, cause I’d look like Groucho Marx if I didn’t.  But that’s as far as I’ve got.  Bugger.

I don’t want to go full nautical, corporate or too casual.  I am in a quandary.  My old clothes from corporate-ville are maybe a little too tired, but I only need a top,  now I have bottom half sorted.  So it’s a top, oh and some shoes.  I got my nails done last week by Pop Nails and they are fab-u-lous.  So that leaves me needing just a top and shoes, maybe some earrings.  Oh shit. Ok, breathe.

So, work with me sisters,  maybe I suck it up, wear a top I already have and then add some cool shoes.  Wanna know the shoes I’m trying to decide between?  You do? Ok, check these puppies out from Gorman and then these gorgeous ones from Kathryn Wilson.  Swoon much? But I can’t have both.  I have also been coveting these ones from Augustine, but they frustratingly sold out over the weekend.  I need to up my game, as I keep spying things I love and missing out by waiting too long.  Anyhoo, I digress.

What’s really exciting about starting a new job at this particular place and in an advertising and marketing environment means I can wear a T-shirt to work and it not be a major faux pas.  Call me crazy, but that is just beyond amazing.  I’m not talking simple T-Shirt and no bling.  I’m talking blinging that sucker out with a necklace and jacket and some mules and some other stuff and things, but just the mere thought of wearing the T-Shirt, with adornment, has got me all hot under the collar.  It probably means I should make more of an effort to find that elusive perfect white T  that I’ve been hunting for then shouldn’t I.

So wish me luck sisters, the ideas could all change tomorrow, but I reckon I am pretty darn excited for what I have in store for me in this new role.  I can’t wait to learn new stuff, meet new people and get some serious shit done.  I am chomping at the bit.  It’ll make for some exciting satorial adventures again too.

If you want to see the whole look come together, make sure you follow me on instagram @sisterhoodofstylenz and check out my Monday morning post.

And sisters, remember, if you need help styling YOUR first day of work at a new job, contact me today to book a styling session,  I would love to work wtih you.  Email me at emma@sisterhoodofstyle.com today.

Mmmmmwah, love EJ, the mother of the sisterhood of style xo

What NOT to wear to a beauty pageant.

And the winner is….the crown, it was always about the crown. Ohhh and the sash, the sash was lovely and when I received one on my hen do, it made me feel all tingly inside, even though it said Bride to Be and not WINNER, MISS WORLD.

I always loved watching beauty pageants as a little girl.  And now, well now, I get to attend one, like my seven-year old says “in really true life”, see it live, maybe even trip backstage, and maybe, just maybe, touch that crown (is there a crown?) and covet that sash.  Miss Auckland, here I come.

As a wee girl I LOVED watching Lorraine Downes win Miss Universe back in 1983. She was the golden New Zealand Princess and I wanted to be her. It was one of the most exciting things I had ever seen, aside from when Princess Di married Prince Charles. The dresses, the posing, the outfits, the sparkly things and that farking crown; it was enormous and awesome and I wanted one. From there I watched every Miss Universe and Miss World (to be fair I didn’t know there was a difference at that time) that I could get my hands on and then moved onto the Benson & Hedges (icky cigarette sponsorship aside) Fashion Design Awards in the late 80’s. So you get the picture, I liked pageants  things a lot.  And to be honest, the love has never really died.

Then one of my many step-brothers just goes and gets his own “really true life” beauty queen and kick arse producer of awesome and she is pageant Director of Miss Auckland. The really cool thing about Miss Auckland is that the pageant motto is “beauty with purpose”, gotta love that.

So this weekend, we are going along as a family to hoot, holler and show our support.  I, of course, will be eyes on stalks and trying to get my hands on the crown (just for research purposes of course).

Cut to what to wear. I am in a total quandary as to what to wear. This Queen is confused. I’m not usually confused for sartorial options, but this is hard. There are so many faux pas to potentially make, so many ways I could cock this up. So, instead of compiling a list of what to wear, I’ve compiled a list of what not to wear.

1. SWIMSUIT This was easy, I mean, no, just no.

2. SEQUINS In my head, even if they don’t wear them, I imagine the night to be awash in sequins.  Do I dare try and compete?  I have a cool paid of Sass and Bide sequinned trousers, but I suspect I should be leaving them well alone.

3. ALL BLACK This look is probably best left for fashion week, rather than Miss Auckland

4. TWIN SET AND PEARLS I’m not a Dance Mom, so let’s not go there, even though I’m probably old enough to be one of the finalists big sisters; well alright, young aunt.  No?  OK, stop, (whisper) mother. So the Twin Set and pearls can shove it.

5. ACTIVE WEAR that would just be silly or psychotic.

6. A CROWN I so want to, but no, no, no.

So what will I wear to the ball?  Well I will either spend the next 24 hours obsessing over this or, choose in haste after a day in the garden with my boys, run inside, put my hair in a do and pull it together.  I suspect leopard print and a kaftan will be involved.  Watch this space sisters.

So in the meantime, I’ll leave you with this to ponder; the question asked of Gloria Diaz of Philippines in 1969 Miss Universe “in the next day or so, a man will land on the moon.  If a man from the moon landed in your hometown, what would you do to entertain him?”

See you later you gorgeous beautiful queens.

mmmmmwah, love  EJ, the mother of the sisterhood. xxxx

I got a fire in my belly for you

My belly is on fire for the women I want to help and the sisterhood I want to be a part of. Styling looks so flamboyant and untouchable to most people and I hear them say to themselves “I could never do that”. But I want to tell you sisterhood – yes you can.

Styling is not an elite sport, it’s not for “everyone else”.  It is an awesome opportunity to create the external message you want to portray.

Spending time on yourself, taking care of how you look is not vanity.  It’s a careful curation in helping you to put your best self forward.

Your not trying to win Miss World – though a sash would be nice. You’re trying to be the very best you and styling yourself right can help that.

Back to the very first people who put clothes on, we have seen embellishment and adornment being used to better the outfit.  By adding pops of colour, a necklace, nail polish, a favourite brooch, it’s saying I care, I like this. It’s not saying (unless you want it too) “look at me”.

I want you to know that you’re allowed a personal style and it can be whatever you make it.  But make it say something. If you rock all black, then let that be your style, but do it to the best of your ability.

If you’re a busy, frantic, fabulous mum who needs to stay in active wear all day, cause it’s easy, you didn’t shower after your walk and you get hit with a bits of food all the time, then so be it. But let’s make sure you take the time to rock some great hair, get your nails did or feel bloody marvellous in that active wear.

If you work in a corporate and they expect a certain look, don’t hide from that, rise up to embrace it and the power that “power-dressing” can provide you.

Most of all though, personal styling is about offering you the opportunity to feel confident in your wardrobe and in what you wear on a daily basis.

I fluctuate between slouchy mum wear to an all out colour explosion and print extravaganza.  I usually only wear all black when I am  I in my active wear or when I have my period.  But that’s me, not you. You maybe completely different and that’s ok, I’m here to style you, not your size or in my style.

Personal styling can be your luxury, in fact, let it be your luxury.  It can be your investment in yourself, where you say I’m going to take the time to look good, feel great. I want my confidence back. I am so worth this experiences. I don’t want you to say you aren’t worth it or it’s for “other” women.  So why not you sister?

Don’t get lost in a sea of everyone. Help bring back that stunning smile and recognise yourself again, or finally discover who she is.  Be that through a wardrobe edit, a personal shopping experience or a style workshop.

When you’re ready to book, you can find me here: emma@sisterhoodofstyle.com or click here for my packages.

You are fabulous and sensational and so freaking worth it.

mmmmmwah,

EJ the mother of the sisterhood of style.

My top three style secrets

Let’s hear if for the girls, let’s give the girl a hand. Sometimes she don’t talk sweet, but I don’t really mind.  I know some may say I swear like a potty mouthed trooper but I’m 42 so I think I earned my stripes. And (I’m gonna swear now)……..I just want to say thank fuck for you.

I’m celebrating the sisterhood today sisters, all of you and then some.  You’re a fabulous bunch of style mavens, queens, mothers, non-mothers, brilliant, kick-ass sisters.  I felt you deserved some celebration.

When I set my first style challenge on Instagram this week, I didn’t realise the bond it would create with strangers.  I have been so awed and impressed at everyone that has played along, messaged me personally, posted their pics on Instagram, shared their style creations and played along  with their sisters on the other side of the world.  It brought tears to my eyes and told me, I’m on the right track, the Sisterhood of Style is here for the right reasons.

So I thought I’d say thanks to the sisterhood and share my top 3 style secrets and how you can achieve your own Sisterhood of Style.

Make yourself count.  You are awesome – everyday, in every way, you get better and better.  I think that was in a children’s book I read once, or maybe it’s reminiscent of Judy Bloom’s “Are you there God it’s me Margaret”. I think I’m digressing.  As we age, we go through so many facsimiles of ourselves, we morph and we change like we do our underpants, but one thing I know to be true – once I hit 40, I felt more myself than ever before and that feeling gets stronger and stronger. So celebrate your age, your style, how you feel about yourself.  Don’t be beholden to who or what you think you should be.  Remember self doubt is a total dick. Let go of any hangups and just be you, you are plenty. To add to how you feel about yourself, make sure you present yourself in the very best way.  Your style says a lot about who you are and what you think about yourself, so make it count.

Break out of your comfort zone.  Try pushing yourself to try something new.  It doesn’t have to be a big something, it just has to be something.  Move forward.  From what I’ve seen with my Sisterhood of Style challenge and those using #sisterhoodofstyle this week on Instagram, there was a whole lot of trying new and pushing out of comfort zones.  It’s a marvellous thing. Keep going.

Show your own style. Consider your body shape, your attributes you want to accentuate, the things you love.  Is it your eyes, your rocking hips, your fabulous legs, your insanely amazing boobs, your defined waist, your gorgeous feet?  Hold that thought. Then consider what colours affect you, what colours make you happy and makes your eyes shine.  Buy those colours, accentuate those features that you love and don’t be afraid to have a signature style.  Mine is eclectic-bohemian with a dash of corporate funk. I made that up. And so fucking what, I don’t want to conform, I just want to be me and to be kind.  Not sure what that means? Well I love leopard print, stripes, maxi skirts and dresses, fitted but not tight pencil skirts, structured jackets, denim, printed trousers and bright colours and I do it with a smile on my face. I also like embellishment.  In fact, embellishment is the QUEEN of everything to me.  I am officially a magpie I’m that attracted to baubles and shiny things, feathers and accoutrement. So that’s mine, what’s yours? Take some time to hone it and own that sisters, it’s uniquely yours.

Love you all, this Sister is one happy mother of the Sisterhood of Style this week. Remember, if you need help in showing your style, then let’s talk, I can help.  Email me at emma@sisterhoodofstyle.com for a chat.

The challenge this week and some of the things I wore.  Head on over to @sisterhoodofstyle #sisterhoodofstyle to see more.

 

Be your own firecracker

I’m sitting here with a glass of wine, following another glass of wine with a dear friend. This post is a bit more personal that I have posted before, but it’s something I feel strongly about and a reason why I started Sisterhood of Style – which is to be a champion of a sister’s self confidence.  We bumped into each other on our way home from work and being a Thursday, I threw going home out the window and agreed to a glass of wine.  Just the one.  But one was all we needed, cause sisters, she has a gift and that gift is in talking the right sort of talk and I just became mesmerised by our chat.  By “being a Thursday & throwing going home out the window” I mean that I didn’t have to be the first one home to our boys, to be the dinner giver, the soccer-mom or the to bed-putter.  In other words it’s all about the FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!

So we mosied up to a favourite old haunt and sat by a glowing fire and strangely for me ordered a Pinot Noir.  I don’t know enough about wine to know if it was a good one, but I loved it, it warmed me, felt just right in the winter chill and it set the tone for a good old natter.

We discussed a lot at length and some things in snippets. But what struck me as I set off for home, after maximising our short time together, was the chat we had on negative self-talk stuck with me the most. So I thought I would share some more with you.

Negative self talk comes in many shapes and sizes;  I’m not good enough, I’m too fat, I’m too thin, I’m not tall enough, I look fat in that, I look shite, I look, feel, think, do all sorts of wrong, I’m not good enough at that, what do I know?  Shall I go on?  You may have delivered one of those striking blows to yourself just this morning as your got dressed, brushed your hair, dried your body or walked into work.

Well ENOUGH.

Let’s press pause.  Cause this is where the chat with my girlfriend got all epic and shit. She told me that when we hear ourselves say something negative, instead of telling yourself off (again), simply acknowledge the moment and then tell yourself ‘noted’.  That’s it, let it be there and sit with you for a bit, but move on, don’t dwell over it and don’t believe in the thought, cause that’s all it was, a thought.

So sisters, sing from the top of your lungs that freaking Frozen song to end all songs “Let it go, let it go”.  It’s not a new theory, I know that, but it’s one that keeps coming up in my Facebook feed, in Instagram posts, in books I read and in conversations I have.  So it’s a “thing” and should be acknowledged.

And I have no intention of enabling that negative self talk along in any of you beautiful sisters. In fact I hope part of what I do can help silence or muffle that little biarch!  I have been working with the most amazing women, in workshops and through coming into their homes editing their wardrobes or taking them shopping.  Each one has made themselves so vulnerable to me and I feel a powerful sense of responsibility to help that vulnerability and nudge it through to confidence.

What I’m getting at is this.  I love my styling biz, it’s a deep passion,  I love sharing how to wear things and try new options daily on Instagram and Facebook.  But equally, I’m comfortable and happy in my Uggs and soft pants.

    (Photo taken on the same day – day to night)

Because, while a great outfit is what gives me a confidence boost and gives me an armour to face the world, I’m not afraid to dress down and not give myself grief for doing it.

But it’s not just clothes is it? We sisters can give ourselves crap about anything and everything and I hope that in reading this, you might be much kinder to yourself after and just say ‘noted’ when the thought appears and then,  move on.

Be your own cheerleader, a firecracker of awesome and believe the hype – you’re gorgeous & awesome.

What do you think about that sisters?

EJ x

The mother of Sisterhood of Style.