To the Sisterhood, on my birthday

It’s my birthday, I’m gonna party like it’s my birthday. I’m one year old this weekend and I like it.  Hey, don’t tell EJ (the mother of the Sisterhood of Style), but I’ve taken over her blog ’cause I wanted to write to you – the sisterhood about what it’s been like to have been the Sisterhood of Style for one year.  Let’s celebrate. But first, let’s reminisce.

Back in the late hours of 2015, just as EJ was having a bubbles and about to ring in the New Year, she had only just started to imagine me.  I was a mere dimple in her cheek, a twinkle in her eye and wee nudge about to go in the right direction.  EJ was sitting next to a  woman at a party who asked her what she did. She told some bland story about working in a corporate but lit up when she talked about her passion project; her dream to bring more confidence to women in New Zealand by helping them with their style.  My ears perked up just then and I became a bit more than a dimple/nudge/twinkle.

The next morning, when she saw the same woman down at the beach, she said to EJ that she spoke with so much light in her eyes, passion in her voice and with utter conviction, she thought that EJ was talking about a business she’d run for a long long time.  Nope, got that wrong, I hadn’t even been born yet, but maybe, just maybe, that was the night I was conceived.

EJ kicked off 2016 deciding on a name and how to make her dream a reality.  She knew the name had to be collaborative and community based.  She wanted to share what she knew, share what she was learning through a Diploma in Styling, life-experience, fluctuating weight but always a confidence with what she wore.

And that’s where I came in.  One hot January evening, on a date night with her husband, who quickly turned into her #instagramhusband, they came up with the name. Like a shooting star, I zoomed across the sky (and the birthing canal) and shot straight into her heart, or like cupids arrow I shot her in the butt, big time.  Sisterhood of Style was born.  I think they may have even given themselves a high five and for the rest of the date (they were watching the latest Bond film), EJ buzzed with excitement and didn’t even blink at Daniel Craig with his shirt off. She knew, with utter certainty, that this was THE something she’d been wanting to something up, for sometime.

You see, at the heart of what I am,  Sisterhood of Style is wanting to help every woman to feel confident when she gets up in the morning and get’s dressed, or goes out to an event, walks into a shop or looks at her wardrobe.  We (that’s EJ and I) want her to look with wonder, or at least not dread at her clothing and think, “How am I going to look badass today?” We figure, if you have to get dressed everyday, why not make it fabulous?  And to be clear – that’s YOUR sense of fabulous, not EJ’s.  We want the Sisterhood to be about you and what makes you comfortable and, a little bit rock and roll.  We will push you a little to try new things – jumpsuits, different lengths, colours, patterns, black when you always wear colour – this list goes on.  But you will always feel happy in the knowledge that you can tell EJ she is barking mad and stop.  Or not :-).

So you want to know who EJ is when she’s at home?  She was born in Christchurch and moved to Auckland when she was 10 with her family.  Her  parents divorced when she was 18 and she has a brother and a big bunch of stepfamily on both sides.  They, like most families are not without their dramas and fighting and frustrations.  She met the Welsh #instagramhusband in London and dragged him back to Auckland to live in 2001. He’s a patient man, loves his football and is a total dude supporter of SOS. She has two sons that keep her on her toes and she now hears herself giving them the stern talking too’s her mum gave her.  Soap in mouth may have been mentioned a few times already.  She won’t mind me telling you that she’s 42 and has been a size 10 and a size 16. She now flicks between a size 12 and 14, depending on the shop and how little exercise she has done and how many donuts and wine she has consumed. There is a very good reason I tell you this though – it’s because she is just like you, a normal kiwi women, whose size DOESN’T matter.  She wants to spread the word to NOT give two shits about your size and concentrate on how you feel. If you need to do something about it, then do!  Go you, but if you are happy and feeling confident in what you wear, then get to it girlfriend, Sisterhood of Style has got your back. EJ’s motto is “I don’t care what size the clothing label tells me I am – as long as I feel freaking fantastic in the clothes”.

For full disclosure, I came on board with EJ at a time in her life when she felt über confident.  Life isn’t always easy, it ain’t all made up of those Instagram squares, but it’s a good one to have.  When I met her, she was peaking with her confidence in style, she knew what she liked and she ran with it – every single day and in the past year her confidence in challenging herself to do more, be more, try more with her clothes has seen her fully embrace her  penchant for leopard print, patterns and bold colours. But, as I said, that doesn’t mean you have too. But she’d like to help you find your “peak confidence in YOUR style”.

It’s been the most incredible and the most challenging year. It began with the first excitement of posting on Instagram and making it public about what she was doing (the actual date of my birthday), but the year just grew and grew for the Sisterhood from there.  Along the course of the year, we’ve hosted workshops with bunches of gorgeous friends at her  home, at yours and in between. We’ve styled things you just didn’t know how to wear and we’ve seen the light go on in your eyes as EJ revealed easy tips and tricks to make your style work smarter, better, sexier, faster, longer – for you.

We’ve had one on one shopping trips with some beautiful women who simply had lost their faith in shopping and finding what suited them, or had changed body shape post baby, or was about to embark on a new job or needed a seasonal change in wardrobe.

We’ve spent time in your bedrooms, within your wardrobes, with courageous women who open them homes and let EJ  guide them on finding the best of what’s in there and maximizing their style at home.

We’ve taken countless texts, Facebook messages, emails and phone calls from friends and clients, asking for advice on what to wear to a certain event, comparing outfits, and eager to know if the shoe they had on, worked. She’s now bundled this advice into a package for you, the Sisterhood called “Stylist in your pocket“.

We’ve spoken to, met and engaged online with some of the most inspiring, awesome, talented and fun women in New Zealand and beyond.  I know EJ feels lucky to have met so many of you, in person and online.

I feel stoked to be the Sisterhood of Style – so imagine what EJ must feel at having dreamt me up and giving me life.  It’s a dream, a passion, a calling and a movement.  The Sisterhood is strong in all of you and EJ wants you along for the ride.  If there was one piece of advice you need to hear before I go, it’s this.  Styling isn’t a luxury, if you value how you feel about yourself, if you want more than just the same old boring stuff you buy, if you want to feel a thrill when you’re complimented or you look in the mirror and think “Damn sister, I look fabulous”.  The Sisterhood of Style is so much more than clothes – it’s about building your confidence beyond what you already have.  You don’t have to have clothes that shout from the rooftops, you just have to have the confidence to wear them well and with passion – and not let them wear you.

So thanks Sisterhood, I love being me – the Sisterhood of Style.  Make sure to tell EJ how much you liked me blogging on her behalf, so she doesn’t get too angry at me 🙂

If you would like to book a styling session, or want to chat about any style related queries, then drop EJ an email emma@sisterhoodofstyle.com she’d love to chat. 

 

One dress: four ways – maximising your style

So there’s a dress that you love but it hangs in the wardrobe because you brought it for a wedding and you can’t see past the event you wore it too, to wear it any other way. It’s an awesome dress and you want to wear it more, except you can’t visualise how.

So I thought some Sisterhood inspo was needed after I had the same dilemma after wearing such a dress to an wedding last year and now, I  wear it many different ways.

I am the hunter of bargains, of style that is affordable, wearable and doesn’t break the bank. As much as I hanker for a pair of Gucci gold shoes, I can usually be found of the high street or online sales, making fashion work for me and my personal style.

Last year, I brought a dress from Glassons (check it out in the snaps below).  It was a fabulous find – navy and lace – a combo that just works for me and I snapped it up in a heartbeat.  But I purchased it for a specific reason, buying it months in advance for a winter wedding.  I did wait for the wedding to pass before I thought about how to wear it again, and then as I loved the dress so much, I have since worn it to another wedding, an engagement party and a 40th, styling it slightly differently each time.  But that wasn’t enough, I didn’t just want it for events, I wanted to use it as an everyday option.  I’m not a huge worrier about wearing an outfit twice in front of the same people – what a waste of a great outfit!  So I love doing a little something different – like adding a new accessory, trying new shoes, hair or makeup with it.  Mixing up what outer layers I wear with it helps keep things fresh too.

I want you to get just as much out of your wardrobe – make it work harder for you.  By doing so, you gain double, if not treble the “outfits” from a single piece of clothing as the core piece and you can spread that money further. If the hero piece is short-sleeved,  like my dress in the photos – consider adding a base layer underneath in winter, or a kaftan or sharp tailored jacket in summer.

I hope this gives you some confidence to try doing this yourself – have fun, mix things up with looks you haven’t before and you may be surprised at what you find.  Please share how you get on with your styling…

Mmmmmmwah, love EJ, the mother of the Sisterhood of Style xo

If you would like to book a styling session, or want to chat about any style related queries, then drop me an email emma@sisterhoodofstyle.com and I’d love to chat. 

Casual day out styling

Casual summer BBQ styling

Work day styling

Special event styling

“Mummy, you have chubby legs” WTF?

So it hurt a little, I’m not going to lie, but my seven year old is pure honesty, made up of sharp jabs, gorgeous words and delicious snuggles, so I took it like a boss and moved on. Well I moved on after I had told him a wee tale of how words hurt and how they should be used to make people feel good, not to bring people down etc etc…lesson over for the day.

But then I may have mulled it over some more and it got me thinking, WTF do you mean my legs are chubby, you little ba*&%^d?  I carried you around for 9 long months on these legs, you were late and cruising in my tummy as I struggled in 31 degree heat. These legs have carried me through thick and thin (literally and figuratively), they’ve walked me toward your dad on our wedding day, before we even thought of you, they’ve led me up mountains, through streams, trudged me around shops and cities, wide eyed with wonder at the sights my eyes were seeing.  They anchored me when I gave birth to you too.  These legs of mine have led me on adventures, slipped out from under me and landed me on my arse.  They’ve let me pogo in moshpits in front of my favourite bands. These legs have held me up when I thought I couldn’t go on and they have sat me down when I need to rest. They get clad in lycra to make sure I move my body, every single day.  Who the f*&k do you think walks the dog everyday?  Hmmmmmm?  (ok, maybe I took this harder than I thought)

Those words are easily brushed aside with adult rationale and he’s just expressing his opinion, he’s allowed it and there will be other lessons to learn together, but I digress.  I’m sharing this little ditty of my life, because I think it’s something the sisterhood, us women,  some of us mothers, some not, seem to have to embrace in life – the barbed words that talk about our bodies.  These words are not always meant to cut, but they do regardless, even from a seven year old.  Why do words talking about our bodies seem to hurt so much? Make us feel less when we should only be grateful for these bodies of ours?  My wish for the sisterhood is to let hurtful body shaming words run off us like water, down the drain and to not let them soak in, don’t let hurtful words sap you of your confidence, own your body and it’s fabulousness.  If you need to do something about it, then do, get outside, get moving and be proud you have a body that lets you do that. Wear things that make you smile, feel fabulous and embraces the confident, kick arse woman you are.

I’ve been walking around on these legs for 42 years and that needs to continue for a while more, so I am going to take these legs and keep trucking on. When my kid said these words, I was in my walking gear and they were encased in lyrca.  Fair play, possibly not the most flattering item in my wardrobe, but they were purpose built to allow me to walk fast, sweat and not chafe.  Job done.

It got me thinking though, how do I style my legs usually?  Well I know what suits me, I know I don’t need to accentuate my upper thigh, but I don’t mind showing them off in my shorts, that hang above my knee.  My latest style love is the maxi skirt, long and flowing and allowing a hint of leg when I want it to be seen, rather than flashing all the goods at once.  Another trick I use, is to elongate my legs with nude heels when wearing pencil skirts or any heel at all to give them a boost when in trousers too. I wear long tops over skinny pants, for proportion and a sleeker silhouette. And when I goddamn feel like it, I wear a short pencil skirt, to the knee and rock some heels.

Most importantly though, I refuse to hide these legs of mine, I am grateful for them, they do their job and they are the only legs I have. I’m stuck with them, so you’ll see them in lycra, in maxi skirts, shorts and even togs – to hell with the critique, these legs of mine are freaking awesome.  Next on my list of things to do is to watch the documentary Embrace and really get down with my bad self.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.  So there.

Mmmmmwah, love EJ, the mother of the sisterhood and owner of these legs of mine. xoxo

If you would like to book a styling session, or want to chat about any style related queries, then drop me an email emma@sisterhoodofstyle.com and I’d love to chat. 

What’s your biggest style dilemma?

It’s 2017 and Sisterhood of Style is nearly a year old.  Welcome back to the sisters who have been here a while and a big warm welcome to those of you who are just joining my crazy style mission – to give women, everyday women, more confidence in themselves by unleashing their true style potential.

I got so excited while on holiday about where to take Sisterhood of Style, that I couldn’t wait to ask you this question as soon as I got back home today  – even before the bags are unpacked.  I poured myself a wine and did a cheeky post-holiday video.  Sans makeup, but armed with a hell of a lot of passion to help you get out of a style rut. So, pour yourself a wine or a kombucha if you’re doing dry January and consider this….

mmmmwah, love EJ, the mother of the Sisterhood of Style. xo

Book Now to discover a whole new wardrobe.

Why you need a stylist.

“Did you just say what I think you did?”(yes I did, allow me to explain)…

“What did you say to me you cheeky bitch?”  (Ouch)…

“How dare you suggest I need a stylist.”  (It’d be kinda fun though and it’s not about what’s wrong, but about what could be sooooo right)…

“If my husband brought me a styling package, I would be so offended.” (But would you really?)…

All of those are valid thoughts and feelings, but I wanted to the chance to reply on why you need a stylist…

1. Do you stand in front of your wardrobe and a) yawn b) come over with a headache from the lack of inspiration? c) think you have nothing to wear?  d) all of the above.
2. Do you walk into a store and walk right back out again, not seeing anything that you like, or you feel intimidated by the shop, the shop girls or the sheer amount of clothes to try on.
3. Do you have items in your wardrobe that you haven’t worn, because you don’t know how?
4. Do you feel like you want to show off your fabulous inner self a little more on the external? You have a passion for fashion but it doesn’t love you back? Do you hate clothes and only wear them because it’s illegal not too?
5. Do you want a bit of a change, a shake up from the norm?
6. Are you returning to work after a baby?
7. Are you trying to get back into your wardrobe after an eighteenth month absence from having a baby, then a toddler and only wearing active wear?
8. Would you love to have an impartial style sister by your side when shopping and in your wardrobe, giving you a completely refreshed style?

If you answered yes to any of these and you may have other reasons too,then a styling session could be just what you need and want.

My passion for the Sisterhood of Style is to boost women’s confidence and raise women up and help them to feel fabulous in themselves and how they present themselves to the world.  It’s not about pointing out the negative, but totally and utterly enhancing the positive.  It’s about challenging you to see yourself in clothes you have never thought to try and to build up a fabulous capsule wardrobe, so that you have go to pieces for when you have the dreaded “I have nothing to wear” moments.

Rather than being offended that someone buys you a styling voucher, why not ask for it for Christmas and jump to the front of the queue.  One of my repeat clients has recently asked her hubby to get in touch with me to buy a voucher for her :-).

You can read about what a wardrobe detox is like right here and you can find everything you need to know about a personal shopping session here.

Sisterhood is the number one reason I started this biz, style is just a really lovely complementary companion.

So my dear sisterhood, I hope you see that booking a session with me as your stylist is all about you and feeling fabulous, providing a boost to what you already have inside. If you need more evidence, just read my client’s testimonials.

Email me at emma@sisterhoodofstyle.com to book a session or grab a voucher for Christmas. xxxxx

Mmmwah, love EJ, Mother of the Sisterhood xo 

 

I have nothing to wear #IHNTW

Sigh.  Who hasn’t said this to themselves, their friends, their partner before.  I-have-nothing-to-wear or IHNTW for short.  Five short words that can turn a good day bad, excitement for an event into dread and a feeling of defeat that can be paralysing.

Before you think I am overstating the case, try to recall when this statement applied to you and cast your mind back to how that felt.  Paralysing much?

You may think, as a stylist, that I don’t feel this fear, this sense of WTF do I pull out of this thing called my wardrobe.  Well I do and it sucks.

I have plenty of clothes, not on the ridiculous level, and I feel a sense of pride in turning older outfits, new, by styling things differently or with a twist and then seeing the results in a new way.  So while the feeling is rare that IHNTW, I still feel it.  It’s tough and it usually precedes an event or a work day, when I really need to get my hustle on.

So let me tell you how I tackled my recent IHNTW dilemma.  It all starts one Saturday, that followed a Friday night. I’d stayed in with my kids, but my hubby had been out celebrating his work Christmas Party.  Then came Saturday morning and a busy day with our kids, swimming lessons, play dates and a family 1st birthday party.  I had no problems getting dressed for these moments, I felt confident, sorted and stoked with my choices.  The husband had earlier suggested we go out for a date night later on. It was much-needed. But I was dragging my heels.  First I couldn’t decide what I really wanted to do.  Do you ever find that sisters who have kids? Date night feels like a big huge deal, they happen so rarely that you want to fit in every dream date your could ever imagine into one small, shitty Saturday night.

Suddenly it was flotation tanks and champagne, dinner at the noodle markets, high end hotel stay, simple street food collective and trying all sorts, champagne bar, a walk down Franklin Road for the Christmas Lights, it was to be all things to all attention starved, busy AF 40 year olds.  But then it wasn’t. It couldn’t be.  There were two people and one night, and a 16 year old babysitter who had to be Uber’ed home (it’s a thing now apparently) by 11.30pm.

Phew, suddenly the pressure of IHNTW was compounded by I don’t want to go out and I don’t know what I want to do anyway and I’m fucked off at you and I don’t know why.

So there was that.  Anyhoo, I wildly digress.  Obviously –  I wasn’t a total dick – we confirm we are to go out for date night .  (We choose street food, cocktails and Christmas lights if you were wondering).  But that’s where the pain in the butt starts.  The IHNTW nightmare.

Half and hour before the babysitter arrives, such is my despondency with my sartorial choices, I attempt to decide.  First up, an all black outfit, that hides my skin and hides me.  I aim for sleek and come out looking EMO and hidden.  Next up are jeans and a baggy silky top, aiming for casual chic.  I end up looking much older than I want, washed out and bored.  I’m stumped.

I go put my makeup on and do my hair and in T minus 15 minutes until the sitter comes, I am back in the bedroom making panic choices.

FFS, why does this happen, why do we lovely, gorgeous women make ourselves feel like crap and claim IHNTW? My theory is that despite rationally knowing that we have plenty to wear, our mood and our self talk can be a debilitating dampener to our usual choices.

Suddenly, and I can say this on reflection, my dreary thoughts on not really knowing what I wanted from date night, translated into not helping me decide what to wear.  I was in a quagmire of doubt over the night and it bled into my fashion choices.  I basically turned catatonic for ideas.  I tried snapping myself out of it and it only made the decisions harder. I had a top on that I liked, but bottoms I wanted nothing to do with.

But then I had a brain wave and asked myself what I felt great in, what I felt comfortable in and hoped the two were there same thing.  They were.

So I kept on the top that I liked and added a skirt, instead of the pants – wide legged and jeans – that I had been trying on.  The skirt had the added benefit of being a little see-through, so I felt a little shinier and sexier, which is probably much-needed for a date night don’t you agree? I grabbed an old favourite – the denim jacket and popped that on for fun.  It worked, I mean I wasnt LOLing all over the shop, but it worked.  So suddenly the outfit emerged, comfortable, a little bit of sexy and a whole lot of “I feel great”.

So what is this blog all about, other than me moaning that I had nothing to wear? It’s about turning that shite around in your head and saying “yeah I do”.  I was in a shitty mood and that translated into telling myself that IHNTW. Just like negative self talk can bleed into our lives in other insidious ways,  the day it hit my wardrobe, I decided to fight back.  Funny that.

So here’s my thoughts on what you could do to break through the block of IHNTW.

1. Tell yourself YES I DO, you crazy, sexy, cool, fabulous mother trucker.
2. Try all the things on until, if it feels crappy, take it off (crazy idea) until the right outfit makes you hum. I would suggest going for an old favourite, like a denim jacket or a dress that makes you feel fine.
3. If going out for an occasion, try on the things that make you happiest, even if you’re worried that you’ve worn them before – who gives a crap!  Unless you’re a celebrity whose going to be photographed and the evidence ends up in Grazia.
4. When in doubt use accessories to make the most of any outfit.
5. Take a pic of a great outfit, that you love, knowing it may come in handy when the IHNTW’s happen.
6. Wear lipstick, always.

Do you ever tell yourself IHNTW?  Tell me about it sisters….

mmmmmwah, love EJ, the mother of the sisterhood.  xo

Remember, if you really are wanting more confidence in your style choices, why not book a session with me to do a wardrobe detox or personal shopping session.  Email me at emma@sisterhoodofstyle.com for bookings. 

Five Festive Faves. How to take an outfit from work to party.

It’s December. That most wonderful time of the year.  It’s full of festive fun, cheer and spending.  It’s like all our collective brains switch to festive mode and we all take a turn down crazy town lane, spending money on all of the things, race around decorating our houses, wearing all the nice clothes and generally act like loons, like we don’t have jobs to wake up too, kids to look after or Christmas Dinner to cook.

But I love it all really, like really I love love love Christmas.  There is nothing better than the nostalgic Christmas music, ours will be ringing from our house from 1 December, right through until Christmas Day.  We will get our tree this weekend.  The advent calendars will be filled with chocolate and the letters to Santa will be magically taken away by Santa’s Elves one night and I will get a “Christmas Day outfit” especially purchased for the occasion and likely teamed with some naff Christmas dangly earrings that glow red.  Did I mention how much I love Christmas? Does everyone get a Christmas Day outfit?  Or is that just me?

What I do find a little tricky at this festive season though, is what to wear from day to night. Don’t you find sisters, there   There is a combo of work and parties and playdates and kids stuff that I have to juggle and that requires likely the same outfit for all of those things, in one day, one evening even.

So here’s where I thought I could help, because I thought you sisters may have the same busy schedules and dilemmas.  So from me to you, I wanted to  share the top five things you can do to make it easy to transition from work / mum wear to festive party outfit in five minutes.  Say what now?

Here’s how it’s done.

Shoes – wear casual trainers or flats for the daytime and then swap them out with a heel, for an instant outfit lift.  I’m wearing a leopard print heel in the photo, because it never goes out of style, and makes any outfit sing like a star.

Makeup – Wear some.  Nuff said.  Oh ok then, I’ll elaborate. Wear makeup lightly during the day for work or mum-life.  Then, when you are ready to get your party pants on, break out a festive red lipstick or a rich dark pink. The deep colours will lift and brighten your face and add the essential “I made an effort” glow.

Hair – If can’t stand the thought of trying to style it after work or during kids dinner, before you go out, with a mascara wand trailing all over your face as you provide your kids a well-balanced meal, well, then use a quick spritz of use some dry shampoo to turn that hair from drab to glam. For longer styles, put your hair up in a messy top knot at the start of the day.  It’ll last the distance if you use some gentle hair spray and look like you gave a crap but are messily elegant.  Well that’s what I’m calling it!  Use windswept if you must.

Jacket – For the evening option, mix and match a jacket that you haven’t worn during the day – for me, this leather look Max jacket in dusky rose pink is my go too to help an outfit along.

Jewellery – swap out and around any jewellery you have.  Make it subtle during the day, so that the evidence is there that you’ve made the effort for the evening shift at the party.  Big bold earrings like these from H&M are a winner.

 

Day

Night

So there, that’s it, all done and dusted in a five-minute switcheroo.  You probably will need some other essentials like deodorant and perfume, fresh eye make up and a hint of blush, but I couldn’t fit that in to a top 5.

What will you be wearing this festive jolly season?

Mmmmmwah, Merry Christmas, love EJ, Sisterhood of Style. x

How to be stylish – from your bed. A story about whatever gets your through.

How to rock a hospital mumu & handle curve balls.

Sisters, don’t be alarmed at the mumu, it’s totally appropriate and in fact, the only thing I want to and can be wearing right now, because this mother of the sisterhood had a bit of a curve ball thrown at me this week.

I went into battle with a rogue ovarian cyst, that had decided to grow some mutant qualities and wanted to take down a fallopian tube and my right ovary while it was at it.  I have pictures, but I don’t want to put you off your brekkie.

So this is me this morning, in all my glory, hospital mumu and DVT stockings,  to keep those blood clots at bay. It got me thinking how curve balls can have the propensity to steer us so off course and we can often find it hard to get back onboard.  The reliance on others is suddenly intensive and extreme, you are thrust into the care of others and cannot control your own pain or the next steps and that is scary. So I am doing my damnedest to not let it cut me down, but instead, fill me up with gratitude and a story to tell. There’s always a great story to tell.

When my husband took me to the emergency room I recalled vaguely how I had never been to an ED before.  I have only been in hospital once as a teenager to have a nearly erupting appendix out and then twice to have my babies.  But never emergency, never in a wheelchair, crippled in pain.  So this was a new one. I even did a TV-like shout out “please, someone help me, something is wrong”.  YES, that was me, on Wednesday afternoon at 4.45pm.

The nurses and Dr’s were great, telling me to breathe through it and hold their hand and then they tripled the morphine and realised that wasn’t even touching the sides.  So surgery was suddenly on the cards.  Never-mind, that I knew about the cyst already, just not that it was also taking an ovary or fallopian tube with it.  I was due to have it out next week, in a private hospital and not be dragged into emergencey surgery.  I was scared and a bit daunted and shocked that I had left work at 2.30 to collect my kids and was crippled in pain by 3pm and in hospital soon after.

But you see that’s when I just had to let go and for those that know me, they know that that’s hard.  I organise for a living and I was even bossing my husband  around about what I needed him to do, after surgery, no memory of it, but also able to sing “I like big butts and I cannot lie”. 

Suddenly it was all out of my hands and friends stepped in to grab the kids, then my dad took over looking after them that night.  My husband paced the halls of the hospital, waiting for news of me, the cyst and it’s darstedly deeds (that’s a book title if I ever heard one).  Then friends and family started to hear the news and sent texts, made calls and offers of help and food for my gaggle of boys.  They came to visit with flowers, even when I was too woozy to get my head off the pillow.  Flowers and good cheer followed.  Work rallied like the champions they are and am grateful for their amazingness.   While I had to cancel a planning day for Sisterhood of Style today, with an epic business mentor and I won’t be able to speak at a women’s group event on Sunday about style,I know that I will have the opportunities again, I just need to spend the time now recuperating.

When I got my wits back very early this morning, after a second night in hospital, I felt compelled to write this down. This feeling of gratefulness and gratitude.  Life may have thrown me a big fat curve-ball but I’m determined to catch it on the full and run (well maybe walk right now) with it and just be at one with the sucker.

So thanks rogue cyst, you kinda did me a favour, because I see my cup is full of awesome.  I’m gonna rock this mumu and white DVT stockings while I still can, because normal life will resume soon enough and sometimes, a mumu is all a girl needs.

Thanks for letting me share sisterhood.

Love EJ, the mother of the sisterhood. xx

Why you should agender-ise your sisterhood catch ups

I’m here to share with you why you should agender-ise your squad catch ups.  It’s a thing.  Well it wasn’t a thing, but now it is.

Sisters, time with your sisterhood, your besties, your squad is precious and often too short.  These precious moments are often so full of excitement at catching up, workshopping important and less important information and bantering back and forth, that you can leave feeling there was so much more to say.  Well I have a plan to help you on that.

Now, “just back the truck up” I hear you say, you want me to what?  Yes, I said it, I want you to put an agenda on the table and work through it systematically or erratically, whatever rocks your boat when you next meet up with your sisterhood/squad/friends/besties.  You’ll leave with a sense of calm that everyone has put their cards on the table and got their turn to offload/share/bitch/moan/vent/celebrate.

I’m finding the older I get (I still feel 27, but have a few more wrinkles, rolls and kids than I did back then), that time with my friends is sacred and I want to wring the most out of the time I have with them as possible.  There is so much that can’t be said via text and short phone calls, so I tend to “save” stuff up, but by the time we catch up, the moment’s been and gone, I’ve workshopped the issue myself or I’ve just plain forgotten.

And then in the space of one week, I was lucky enough to have two girly catch ups booked in and would you believe, both sets of friends put an agenda on the table.  At my heart, I’m an organiser, I do it for a living wrangling clients in my day job and make shit happen in my #mumboss biz, so you can imagine I was giddy with delight that agendas had been set.  Both were different versions but both have their merits, so it got me thinking that this blog is all about the sisterhood and I should share some life-hacks that I love with you.  So here’s how they went:

1. Agenda One: “Bring your top 3 to discuss, everything else is a free for all”.  This agenda had a fluidness to it, a liberal dose of letting the cards fall where they lay but it set an expectation that you’d get your turn, you have important things to discuss and it will happen, but shit might change and that’s cool.
2. Agenda Two: Rough agenda for Thursday: School fair,  renovation bitch and moan, husbands, kids, body yarns – what the fuck is happening to us?, building each other up – we are amazing after all and AOB (any other business).

To be fair, Agenda number two lingered on AOB for most of the night as there were some big fat rocks in there to jump over, but we got through the rest in a flash, because we remembered to keep referring back to the agenda.  Everyone left feeling lighter than when they walked in, having had the chance to offload.

Now before you get your knickers in a twist with me, thinking I am being some sort of lifestyle expert, I promise, I’m not, I just want to help the sisterhood out with a way to make life simpler, easier, more fun and calming.  Who doesn’t need that?

What do you think?  Let me know if you use the idea at your next sisterhood catchup.  It’s one big karmic cathartic love bomb of an idea.  Well I think so anyway 🙂  Happy life-hack.

Mmmmmwah, EJ, the mother of the sisterhood.  x0x0